Regrets
by X-Feli-Chan-X
Summary: ...it's been six months..." Edward has been missing for a long time, and Roy thinks it's his fault, how was he supposed to know what was in that file. And how much he truely cared for the missing young state alchemist...not very good with summaries,sorry
1. Chapter 1

**Hey Everyone! This is Feli-chan! This is a story that Sam-chan and I decied to do, we both decied to write our own stories based off a similar idea. We got this idea when we were bored in Trig... n.n  
I hope you all like my fanfiction, and I hope you will R&R!**

**DISCLAMIER: i don't own fullmetal alchemist, if i did.....i don't know what i would do...n.n i only own the plot.**

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…It's been a week since I sent him on that mission in the East…

…It's been a month, and only Alphonse has been found. Ross and Armstrong found him in a small clinic in Liore. The doctor said that someone had found him in the middle of the desert. He has his body back, but no memory of how it happened…

…It's been six weeks since last saw his face, his golden hair, and liquid amber eyes. The search parties have found nothing. Hughes has started another search that he, himself is leading. Alphonse is back in Risembool. He is with the Rockbells', readjusting to his new body. Edward Elric has been officially announced by the Fuehrer as Missing in Action…

…It's been two months; Alphonse is back in the office trying to remember what happened. And when he has flashes of his memory back, he tells us immediately. What he has remembered so far is no help to us however. Hughes's search has found some leads, but they all turned out to be dead ends. Hawkeye's worried about me, I can tell, they all are. Scar hasn't been seen for months and there is no evidence of Scar being anywhere near the Elrics since their last stumble in Central…I'm starting to lose hope…

…It's been ten weeks now. Alphonse has finally remembered something, a description. Light purple, cat-like eyes, dark hair. And a tattoo…an ouroboros tattoo. Hughes and the rest of my team know, as well as the rest of Hughes's team knows. We now must continue the search, but in secret now. Because if anyone where to leak this to Bradley, then we'd all be screwed.

Alphonse pleads to be part of the investigation. Not many know that the boy has regained his body. I had to agree to his becoming part of it. But knowing that if anything ever happened to Alphonse, Edward would never forgive me. I told Alphonse that what ever he does and where ever he goes, Ross and Brosh must be with him and he must report all findings directly to me, by calling on public lines and calling my on my house phone. You truly never know who is listening in on military lines.

…It's been three months…my desk for once is clean; I'm ahead with my paper work. I take some of it home with me. It keeps me from thinking of what could happen, or what had happened to Edward. Hawkeye is now overly worried and Gracia sends Hughes over with dinner some night. I won't give up not until I reach the top…I promised Ed.

The Fuehrer is watching me and my team closely. It's hard to continue the investigation. Also it's hard knowing that I really can't trust anyone in the military, other than my team and Hughes'. Alphonse phoned the other night; they were back in Liore, asking around for the person who had found him. They have a lead and will call me later with more information. The Fuehrer wants to see me; my team is worried for me.

…I am a Brigadier General now, the Fuehrer promoted me as well as the rest of my team. I can't help but flinch. Another gunshot fired, closer this time. Guns fired on both sides of the battlefield. My team and I were promoted only to be sent to the frontlines of the war against Darchma. It's been another month…four months since I sent him off, and no word from him, no ransom from the homunculi, no body found. They say no news is good news…I'm not so sure.

Alphonse's lead was a fake, turns out there's no one in Liore with that description. Ross believes that it could have been a homunculus that brought Alphonse back. But that just brings up more questions…

I truly regret giving him that mission. It was a sudden spur of the moment thing. He had stormed into my office, all those months ago, complaining about how I had given him another childish, ridiculous crack-pot mission. It's true; I had been giving him easy tasks, and have been avoiding the missions involving danger. I had discovered my feelings for the young alchemist, and I couldn't bear to see him off on dangerous missions, and see him come back hurt, and covered in bandages, and that's if he's lucky.

It had been a bad day for me, though that's no excuse. Hawkeye had given me a ton of work to do, the paper work towered high over my head. I had a headache that day from Hughes talking to me late into the night about what Elysia had done that day. (I believe he was afraid one of the boys in her preschool class was going to whisk her away and marry her or something). And the moment I walking in to Central Command, he had cornered me and tired to make me come with him to get rid of the threat.

After successfully getting away from Hughes, once I walked into my office I had tripped over Fuery, who was trying to get Black Hayate out from under his desk, and bumped into Havoc, who was holding a cup of freshly poured coffee and Falman who was holding a pot of freshly brewed coffee. Efficiently ruining my uniform. Hawkeye sent Breda to find an extra uniform. She then proceeded to give me the paperwork.

Edward came in just after I had changed and was at the peak of my bad mood. And with him shouting at me, and my headache getting oh, so much worse. I grabbed the first mission file I had in the new stack of paperwork that I had yet to read. And took the file and threw it at Edward. Before leaning my head against my head to massage my forehead, and watched Edward's reaction.

He skimmed through the mission and with a pleased smirk left my office, slamming the door. I quickly slouched and took a nap before Hawkeye would notice.

It wasn't until a week later that I had found my copy of Edward's new assignment and read through it. I swear I could have killed myself then. I had sent him on the most dangerous mission in the stack. I had sent Edward to Ishbal to quiet a riot. It was the most stupidest think I have ever done.

Alphonse hasn't given up hope. Though I can't say the same for myself. Everyday the guilt grows and I worry more. I often have nightmares of what could be happening to Ed. And everyday my heart grows heavy with dread and I'm staring to lose hope.

Hughes and his team are still in central. So Brosh and Ross are still able to travel with Alphonse. I know Hughes worries for Edward constantly. Edward and Alphonse are like the sons he never had…

…six months…six months since he was in my office, whining, complaining…talking…

My team and I have been ordered back to Central…some suffered some minor injuries, but everyone is healing quickly except for me. But I have suffered this pain for six months. And I can only imagine that time will make it worse, not better.

Alphonse and Hughes have actually made progress while we were drafted. They managed to figure out that it was Envy who had taken a random person's appearance, and had brought Alphonse back. Ross and Brosh managed to slip the information to Hughes in my absence.

The Gate knows how long Hughes stayed up at night figuring this out. Hughes has managed to find out what all the labs and military buildings are doing and found something suspicious in Lab Three.

He told me that he and Armstrong had managed to get in with permission and found that there are some walls in the so-called basement that had been recently alchemized.

For the past week we have been planning in secret when to infiltrate the building. Soon, Edward will be found. I can finally hold him close and never let go. I can then tell him all of the things I have longed to tell him in the year and a half that has passed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey everyone! Still just Feli-chan. Sam-chan got grounded till Sunday…she's sad about that…oh well!**

**Thank you for reviewing my story! I hope you will all like this chapter as much as the last, though this one is rather sad…enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA**

…It's been 5 hours, since we infiltrated the lab. hI'm pacing in the waiting room of the hospital. The others just arriving, telling that Envy had escaped…

When we had infiltrated Lab Three, four hours ago, we had gotten to the alchemically changed wall, Hughes and Armstrong had found. According to a map of the Lab, there was supposed to be a corridor that leads to the basement. So we knew that something was definitely going on. The wall had just recently been altered as well.

Just as Armstrong de-alchemized the wall, there was a loud bloodcurdling scream, followed by a gunshot. It was a scream we all recognized.

I, myself, had heard the very same scream almost eight years before. On that stormy night in Risembool, when the two brothers had done the greatest taboo in alchemy.

I sprinted down the long corridor. I knew from the map, that the last door was the way to the basement. Hawkeye was right behind me, gun drawn, ready to fire. I slammed open the door, and promptly froze at the sight. The others still running to catch up with us. Hawkeye gasped as she saw what had made me stop.

Past the stairs there was red, dark, crimson, blood. And gold, lifeless golden eyes. A gaunt, pale, pain filled face, hair going everywhere, free from its braid. Clothes tattered, chained to the wall, bleeding, was Edward Elric. Missing in Action for the past six months. He looked so helpless, if the situation had been different, I would have ran to him and held him close that moment. However with his muscular chest exposed from the tattered clothes, you could see it plainly.

Fresh blood gushing out a new wound. It was flowing from his left shoulder. It was a wound from a bullet.

Edward was hanging from shackles on the wall, kneeling on the floor. As I froze in the doorway he had slumped down against the wall. On the stone gray wall behind him you could now see a rusty red stain, dried blood. Showing he'd been beaten before.

A figure stood not to far from the fallen angel. A figure worse than the devil himself. He was wearing a twisted evil smirk on his face. He was dematerializing into his original form. The person whose form he'd taken on, only he and my Edward know. What caught my eye however, was that in his hands still poised from being used just moments before, was the reason for Edward's new found pain.

My anger grew so great, it knew no bounds. Flames erupted from my finger tips before I knew it. And Hawkeye quickly showed off her sharp shooter skills on the homunculus that had hurt her surrogate kid brother.

I was sprinting down the steps, toward Edward. Alphonse had pushed past Hawkeye and the pile up at the door, and was running behind me.

I got to him and lifted his chin from it's resting spot on his chest, and stared into his half lidded eyes as Alphonse alchemized the shackles.

His once bright, determined, colorful, emotional, liquid amber eyes had drastically changed. His eyes shoed a broken soul, emotionless, and stony as the wall behind him. His amber-gold eyes had turned into a pale yellow, staring past me.

He was thin, pale, and frail. And for the first time, I noticed his automail was missing.

At that point Alphonse had freed Ed's only wrist and Edward's body quickly fell against mine, limp.

The next moment, there was a cruel chuckle among the gun fire. Unfazed, though a bit distracted, by the onslaught of bullets, was Envy. The bastard who hurt my angel.

Cradling Edward in my left arm, I poised my right and snapped. Envy was quickly set ablaze. However instead of screaming in agony, he was laughing manically.

All I could hear was the laughter and my new found love's harsh breathing. Knowing he would not last much longer with out medical help, I scooped him up bridal-style and ran for the stairs. As I ran past her, I order Hawkeye to call an ambulance.

After I had fled the scene with Edward, Armstrong and Alphonse had alchemized a large dome around Envy, while he was still ablaze.

The ambulance was waiting outside the Lab for us. Edward was a pale, unnatural white, with a sheen of sweat on his forehead.

Once the paramedics had him on the stretcher and inside the ambulance I climbed in. I sat beside him, squeezing his left hand tightly between my own. I stared at his face and flinched for him when they put an IV into his arm.

At the hospital it took three or more nurses to make me leave the stretcher to go into the operating room.

My Edward was going to be operated on…and all I could do is wait.

…It's been a week…he is in the hospital and I am currently visiting him. He is still so pale, and his beautiful golden hair is not what it once was. Its limp and losing it's beautiful golden sheen. It's odd, and awkward in Edward's hospital room. There is a table full of get well cards and flowers.

He is so quiet, and so…not like himself. Though, how could we really know if he's alright? He's been in a coma since the surgery. He hasn't woken up once…


	3. Chapter 3

**This chapter is super short, sorry, but it had to be done.....**

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA**

The waiting is killing me. Everyday he doesn't wake up; the doctors say the chances of him coming back lessen. The other night he went into a cardiac arrest. Due to his injury in his shoulder, it was close to the heart, and got somewhat infected causing the heart attack.

They brought him back, but now he needs to have an oxygen machine. He has tubes going in his nose to help him. He has so many IV's; at one point he had a blood IV for his loss of blood. Now he has a pain medication, and two IV's for food and nutrition.

He was barely fed, if at all. The doctors say that the gunshot wound, after being cleaned thoroughly again, should heal quickly. But it will be a while before he won't feel pain.

The doctors believe that Edward was beaten. He has bruises and lacerations all over his body. He also has three cracked ribs. As for his automail…they say he's lucky that the ports aren't ruined and that they had tested the nerves that were hanging out…I heard that part from the waiting room. The unconscious scream Edward let out was horrific. Though not nearly as bad as the one I heard at the Lab.

Alphonse has already called the Rockbells; they'll be coming with new automail as soon as they can. They haven't visited yet, but plan to in a few days.

What kills me the most is that the doctors aren't sure if the pain medication is working. Seeing as how he's in a coma, he can't tell us if he's hurting or not. Right at this moment, he could be in _pain_. It kills me.

I have to say, the past six months have really opened my eyes. I can't believe I could be so blind. I am truly, madly in love with Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist. It had taken me six months of no word or sight from or about him. Him being half-dead, and close to the brink of death, just to get me to admit to myself that I love him.

Now if only he would wake up, I could admit it to him too…


	4. Chapter 4

**Alright! here is chapter 4! sorry its a short one too...**

**don't know if ill post chapter5 tonight or not because my parents are making me go out on a faily day then i have to go out with two of my friends for a girls nite out...(it's been reschedualed twice...)**

**Oh! and thank you for reviewing! i love looking at the reviews!**

**Sam-chan and i agree that reading the reviews inspire us to write! (well...that and watching roy/ed videos on utube...)**

**so yea....Disclaimer: i dont own fma!**

**on with the show!**

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…Another week has passed, the Rockbells visited, that was the only time since Edward was submitted that I left his side. I couldn't take Winry's sobbing and wailing at Edward's condition.

I thought, hoped, prayed, that he would wake up because of all the noise Winry was making.

However, he didn't stir…

…The day the Rockbells came was about two days ago. That was the day Hawkeye and Hughes were finally able to drag me out of the hospital. Hughes had been bringing me clothes from home, and Hawkeye would make sure that I ate.

They got me while I was outside Ed's room, waiting for Winry to calm down.

That day was the first time in a week and a half that I had been home. I showered, and then looked at myself in the mirror. There were dark bags under both my eyes, a dark purplish blue bruised color, showing my lack of sleep. I hadn't shaved in days so I had a 5 o'clock shadow going. I was a pale white, though the steam from my shower had brought a light flush to my cheeks.

Sighing I left the bathroom for my bedroom. I was so used to sharing a small hospital room, and sleeping on a hard plastic chair. That seeing my room was shocking.

I quickly changed into pajamas, and slipped into my large king-size bed. Sleep eluded me. I was so used to hearing a heart monitor, and to hear nothing but silence was quite unnerving.

My bed seemed too empty; it seemed too big, too wide. Like I needed someone else. No not _some_one else, just Edward.

So I grabbed another pillow and held it close, trying to imagine that it was Edward. Eventually sleep came to me.

The next day I came in to the hospital, went straight to Edward's room, and took my place next to his bed, holding his left hand. Alphonse came in a while later, and took a similar position on Edward's right.

One of Edward's doctors came in around noon.

Pinako was in around that time so she heard what he had to say as well.

Winry was at the hotel room, drawing up Ed's new automail.

After Pinako explained this, the doctor warned her that Edward, once he woke up, would have to go without automail for several says, that could turn into weeks, depending on his other injures.

He also said he would need to have a caretaker for a while, and he would definitely need help without two of his limbs.

Alphonse left later that day with Winry and Pinako for Risembool. They needed materials for the automail, and all their equipment was at their home.

And Edward still sleeps….


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey everyone! Next chapter, im sad to say is the last one....**

**BUT! im making a sequal of this story as, like, what edward went through...and what he did so basically this story in his pov....but different...if you know...its hard for me to explain...hehe!**

**well thank you again for reviewing! Here is Chapter 5! hehe!**

**Disclaimer: don't own fma**

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…Today, a week later, I'm back at work in my office, have been for the entire week. I hadn't visited Edward since Alphonse left. It was too heartbreaking to go back there, to see little to no improvement on his condition.

My paperwork that I was once ahead on is now back-ordered.

I try to focus on the papers in front of me, but I just can't. All I can think of is the eighteen-year-old, golden haired young man I had left behind in that blank hospital room.

I had left my office door open, upon the request of Hawkeye. She and the others were talking in hushed voices. I had heard them talking as I tried to focus on my paperwork. My mind constantly drifts to Edward.

I faintly heard a door open and close, the sound of conversation stopped, I didn't lift my head. The person walked halfway to my door or so, asked something of Hawkeye, then continued closer to the door. I heard a soft knock on the doorframe. I quickly recognized the worried look on Hughes' face.

"Come on, your not fooling anyone, Roy," Maes stated as he walked into my office, past my coat rack, grabbing my black coat and tossing it at me. "Don't need you to catch a cold and end up in the hospital too!"

"Maes, what are you talking about?" I asked as I moved my coat from where it had fallen on my desk, quickly reorganizing the papers that had gotten moved by the coat. "My office is perfectly warm."

"While that may be true, but it's sure is damn cold outside!"

He had a point there, it was in the middle of January, a new year had come while Ed was in a coma…Ed…Edward…

"Roy. We all know your not working." Maes' voice released me from my current thoughts.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked defensively, standing up from my chair.

"It _means_ that we all know you're just worrying about Ed."

I paused, before I could come up with a response, Maes was already pushing me out the door, and into the hallway.

"Where are we going?"

"To see him!" He exclaimed, as though it were obvious.

While I racked my brain for an excuse, he quickly pulled me over to the side of the hall.

"Listen, Roy, we all know you're worried about him, but ever since you left the hospital last week, you've been reluctant to go back! I'm sure, no positive! That Ed knows we are there in the room with him!" His eyes were blazing with determination and hope.

"Hughes! It's almost been a month! He isn't waking up!" I replied angrily, hating myself all over again as tears gather in my eyes. I quickly ducked my head and tried to walk back to my office. Hughes stopped me, with a hand on my shoulder.

"You're making a mistake Roy. I know for a fact, that whenever you are in that room with him he starts to come back a bit. I know it sounds crazy Roy! But you have to listen! He needs you! Just like you need him."

I turned around glaring at him before saying, "I don't even know how he feels about me! I can't take this!"

And quickly before he could stop me, I ran past Hughes and out of Central Command.

I walked around for a while in Central Park to clear my head. The clock tower rang out that it was three in the afternoon. I sighed quietly, looking around the comfortingly un crowded park. Before I knew what I was doing or where I was going, I was inside a flower shop.

I blinked and looked around. Deciding that after this I may as wll go to visit Edward.

I quickly looked around before finding a single red rose. I quickly purchased the flower and was off towards Central hospital.

I slowed down to a jog as I neared the hospital, and then slowed to a walk as I entered the building in search for his room.

I opened his door slowly before stepping in.

Two tables were overflowing with flowers and cards. Only Ed's bedside table had nothing on it. The tables were near the window, allowing the flowers to cast a pretty glow about the room in the late afternoon sun.

I set my rose on the bedside table, before quietly sitting down at my old spot on his right side. Grasping his right arm.

I looked him over as I sat there. He did look somewhat better; the dark shadows under his eyes were beginning to disappear, as well as his minor cuts. His bruising was now a nicer lighter color than the horrible blotches of purple, blue, and black that they had once been.

While looking at him, I noticed that his hair was slightly messed up. Quickly reaching up to be rid of the problem, flattening his hair, and petting it down. I sighed in bittersweet melancholy. I was so close to what I've wanted so desperately, yet so far.

I leaned back in my chair, wrapping my hand around his again, and intertwined our fingers. I hunched over and leaned on the bed, next to his waist. I looked up at his face, and could feel my self melt at the sight. The afternoon sunlight had a glowing halo effect on his hair.

I hadn't been getting much sleep as to the fact that my house is so silent. And I barely noticed when I had drifted off. Though I do remember a faint squeeze in my hand before I unknowingly allowed the beeping of the heart monitor to lull myself to sleep…

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**ooooo! what does this mean?!?!**

**hehe! till tomorrow! Byez!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey people! this is the last chapter! At least it is for Roy's pov!**

**i'm also posting my friend Sammi's story up along with this one, (it'll be explained in that story's author note)**

**please if you like this story go check out that one and review it! (she wants to see wahat other people think about her writting style)**

**Hopefully within this week i'll be able to post Ed's pov! i'll work hard t get it posted!**

**Disclaimer: i don't own fma!**

**On with the show!**

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…The next morning I woke up feeling better than I had been in the past few weeks. I looked over at the clock near the door and saw it was eight o'clock.

I carefully released my hand from Edward's and realized, that maybe Maes was right. Edward did look more peaceful than he had the night before.

I sighed, shook my head before walking the short distance to the bathroom. After freshening up I called Hawkeye, and told her how I wasn't coming to work today, and was going to ask Hughes to bring the paperwork over to the hospital. She agreed and wished me a good day.

_'Heh,'_ I thought, _'the only way I'd have a "good day" is if Edward woke up…'_

Hughes came about an hour later into the room, and left soon after. By noon, I had finished half of the paperwork given to me. Knowing Edward was okay, and sitting next to him, really did seem to help me focus.

Before departing for lunch I carefully kissed Edward on the forehead, not exactly feeling comfortable kissing him on the lips while he was unconscious.

I then walked around town for a while after lunch with Havoc. Then Havoc seemed to notice how much I stared off into space.

"Boss, you know the chief's gunna be fine, right? I mean, he has so much to live for, why would he just waste it?"

"I _know_ that Jean, but what if there is something _wrong_ with him, like he's _mentally_ or _emotionally_ scared?" I stressed.

"I'm sure it's nothing that you couldn't help him over come."

I felt a faint flush gathering on my face. And I quickly looked down at the ground. Did _everyone_ know how I felt about Ed?

"I'm sure you should be getting back, General."

I looked up in surprise. I raised my eyebrow at Havoc questioningly.

Havoc just shrugged, closing his eyes, taking his cigarette out of his mouth, and turned his face towards the sky. "Just saying, because Hawkeye'll be over to check on you around six…and she'll want to collect _all_ that paperwork she's given you, otherwise…"

He trailed off as he turned back to face me, cigarette still in hand. I put a hand on my face and was about to rant at how much work I had to do. When the clock tower tolled four.

"Shit!"

I ran for the hospital, leaving Havoc laughing his ass off in the park.

I had finished the last of the paperwork, just as Hawkeye walked in with dinner.

We small talked about our day, and a bit about Ed's condition. She left with the rest of the paperwork around eight, promising more paperwork to be delivered the next day.

I from there went to use the hospital facilities again, to take a long, hot shower.

I came back to Ed's room, but didn't sit down.

I walked over to his right side. Edward was shirtless, due to his injuries. And for the first time I saw the scars. I saw where automail connected with skin. I saw the scar tissue around the area. I carefully touched the marred skin.

It was so soft and smooth. It had a slightly different texture from the rest of his skin. I was fascinated by it. And yet ever so slightly in the back of my mind, horrified.

Someone so young had accomplished so much, yet lost as much if not more than he gained. I admire Edward; for all that he has gone through. Going through automail surgery at the age of eleven, for not one, but two of his limbs. Then a year later, being done with rehabilitation and joining the army as the youngest state alchemist.

Edward is amazingly brave and strong, and most importantly,…kind hearted. Ed will sympathize with people and he can actually understand them.

This is what I admire and love about Edward Elric.

These were my thoughts as my face unconsciously moved forward, closer to his soft, pink, ever-so-slightly-parted lips.

I knew I should stop myself, but I couldn't. my lips touched his, they were soft and warm, but unresponsive…

I was beginning to pull away, when there was a sudden pressure added to my back, pulling me back down. This time my lips crashed against his.

He was kissing me back. His arm was pushing me onto him.

_'He's awake,…'_ I thought while caught up in the bliss of the kiss.

Edward had opened his mouth and my tongue was mapping out the layout of his mouth. When I realized what was going on.

I quickly pulled away, sat back, and stared in shock at the half-closed golden eyes that sparkled with mischief. I opened my mouth to say something, but he beat me to it.

"I love you, Colonel Bastard."

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**Well i hoped you like this fanfiction!**

**please review it! i'd like to know what everyone thinks about it!**

**oh and thank you to those of you who have been reviewing!**

**Write Cha Laterz!  
~~Feli-chan~~**


	7. Sequel!

**Hey everyone!**

**this is just to tell you all that the sequel is up**

**it's called **

**"What have you done now?"**

**so please go and check it out and tell me what you think!**


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